Copy/paste scene for a friend, from here: http://seacouver.slashcity.net/ksarchive/viewstory.php?sid=718&warning=1


Later, they went out to the lake, Kirk carrying the water bucket and firewood basket, Spock leaning on him and cautiously trying to put a little more weight on his feet than he had yesterday. The tiny brontos spotted them and paddled up, open-mouthed and eager, making wolf-whistles and downright obscene kissy- noises.



"Where did they learn that one?" Kirk laughed. "They sound like a bunch of street corner punks." He glanced around for a berry bush.



"I beg your pardon?"



"Oh. Uhm, those noises they're making are classic Earth-culture... ah, mating-calls. Heh! The only one they're lacking is a holler of 'Hey, Baby!'" He laughed again. "What those little beggars won't do for berries. Sorry, you bums; I've got to go get water and firewood."



"If you will give me a handful of berries, I shall feed them," Spock offered, toying with the idea.



"Fine with me." Kirk strolled to the nearest available bush and began picking. The brontos whistled and smacked impatiently. "All right, already. Here you are, Spock. Have fun." He handed Spock the berries, picked up the basket and bucket, and trotted off.



Spock edged closer to the water, waving a berry over the small horde of open mouths. "'Hey, Baby,'" he solemnly intoned. The brontos whistled and kissed frantically. He tried again. And again. After the fifth try, one of the brontos made a fair attempt at imitating him. He popped a berry into its mouth. Other brontos got the idea.



Half an hour later, Kirk came back to the lake shore with a basket stuffed full of wood and a sloshing-full bucket. Spock sat quietly, waiting for him, face revealing nothing. Jim should be highly amused, he thought, suppressing a smile. Kirk strolled up, unsuspecting.



The brontos spotted him. They raised their heads and paddled toward him, greedy and hopeful and noisy.



"Phweee-phew!" "Smacksmacksmack!" "Ayyyy, bayyy-beeee!"



"Huh???" said Kirk, almost dropping the bucket.



"Ayyyy, bayyy-beee!"



Kirk's jaw dropped. His face turned re.



I seem to have miscalculated... Spock set his expression to absolute neutral.



Kirk did a classic double-take. "Spock, did you...?" He looked at the brontos, then back at Spock. "Nawww." He shook his head. "I can't believe it." ... But how else could they...?



"I beg your pardon?" said Spock. A newborn lamb couldn't have looked more innocent.



Of course he did it, Kirk realized. My Lord, he's just played a practical joke! ...he's developing a sense of humor. Amateur. Doesn't he realize how weird his jokes are... Kirk put down the water and wood, pulled Spock to his feet and picked him up. He trundled up the slope to the woods.



"Jim?" Spock sounded ever-so-faintly worried. "May I ask where you are taking me?"



"Out of temptation's way."

So on my favorite radio show tomorrow, they're going to be interviewing Lisa Ann, star of the much anticipated movie "Nailin' Palin."

Why am I bringing this up?

My first reaction was, wow, I want to hear that. No really, I'm actually excited. Much more then I ever was for Dark Knight, or Saw 5. (I'm not gonna say I'm more excited about this then I am for the next Jason Voorhees movie, but we'll just have to see when that comes out.)

So I guess my point is: I don't watch a lot of porn. (Well, hetero porn, but still.) Why do I want to see this so bad? Is it the freak factor? Curiosity? What?

I wonder.

mood: tired

To not want to grab Paul Stanley's ass in this video: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=k-j9V5q-NgY

Thrusting it out like a chick; I'm resisting the urge to spank the screen.

And on a less interesting note...

I saw the Children of Hurin in the bookstore the other day. It got my nerd juices going. I have The Silmarillion; I'm the only person I know who's been able to get through it. (It doesn't read like Lord of the Rings, so I guess it's just hard to stay focused on such dense reading. Fortunately, I am a nerd.)

ANYWAYS, I read the Narn i Hin Hurin chapter in the Silmarillion; it made me want to cry. SO I WANT THIS BOOK.

I'm just slightly wary because Christopher Tolkien is the credited author, not his dad. I don't know if his writing skills are as good as his dad's, I don't know what it's going to read like. (...unless he's just ghost writing for him again, but then wouldn't JRR Tolkien be the credited author? I don't know.)

Anyways. I want it. I'm excited to buy it.

But I have to get Black Ice first, because I love AC/DC more then Middle-Earth.

mood: tired

I'm listening to "Fantasmic!"

...you know... http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0t_XzGXXVs

...Okay, fuck you, I don't care who you are, I challenge you to show me something bigger then this. To this day, I have NEVER seen anything remotely close to how huge this show is. They take up the ENTIRE fucking island, they use both the Columbia and the Mark Twain, they set the goddamn lake on fire, and when Mickey came out and zapped the dragon to hell, as a kid, I fucking cried. THAT THING WAS HUGE. You can't see it too well in the video, but that dragon wraps around the entire island. Not to mention the stunts, the fireworks, the costumes, the water projections, the show just reeks of quality. It's just the most incredible production I've ever seen. If you ever come to Disneyland, if you do nothing else, see this. It's amazing.

It's one of the few things Disney still gets right.

Sorry. I'm being nostalgic, I'll stop.

mood: tired

moar funny pictures

mood: amused

Yeah, you better watch.

Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4HbYrqpPrE
Featuring Batman in jeans, and that John McCain bit marching out to "Elected."

More Fighting: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcDvmI7xP8I
I liked this show, because Hilary Clinton got her hole reamed. By everyone. I wish I managed to get Obama knocking her ass out, but my camera kept threatening death on me.

Part 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=As6G6ptp_l8
Once again. Where the hell else are you going to see the Joker duke it out with Indy? (Joker likes paying with his hair, I noticed. A lot.) And... Tila Tequila actually kicked a lot of ass. Still glad to see her get killed, though.

The Finale: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmcI3tpkFLU
And, the Joker gets his ending this week. :3 Actually, when Knott's was still allowed to use Freddy Kreuger, this is how he'd end the show. But I guess if we can't have Freddy, Joker is a pretty good substitute.

Undead Horseman: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYAVj86nm2U
And for the hell of it, this is the zombified version of the Silver Bullet cowboy. He was the mascot for last year's Haunt, but apparently, they kept him around for this Haunt. He hangs out under, of course, the Silver Bullet.

...He's a lot cooler in person. Anyways.

mood: tired

I got all the video clips I took last night up. Go look.

Dancers: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=mibMy9L4738
A couple middle-aged women who work for the company. They were really nice, and when the first showing was canceled, one of them came over and gave me her condolences and explained why. (Turns out, it's easier to say that they were having technical difficulties then it was to say: "Batman is suffering from violent diarrhea and vomiting, so we're waiting for his understudy to show up.") ANYWAYS. They danced for us. It was awesome.

First Part: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=6HJqQ1rXlzs
The first ten minutes of the show. Their Indy was fucking fine as hell. And since I'm more of an Indy fan then a Joker fan, (let's face facts, here,) I was quite pleased to see him assume a central role. Joker kinda took over after a while, but Indy was badass too, so it's all good.

Also, in this one you can kinda make out me and Shani talking. Which is different, as Shani pretty much screamed the entire time. (...to be fair, I was in the process of loosing my voice, otherwise I probably would have screamed more too.)

Second Part: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=noXrGdvnyfU
Yeah, this is about where my camera started fucking with me. Which really irritates me, because I missed out on most of the Joker's parts. I managed to get a few of them anyways, but yeah. When I go back next week, I'll record the second half of the show.

Joker fighting Batman: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=hAyqXrxX2Ko
This one looked a hell of a lot more painful then the one in the movie. D:

Nurse Joker: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=5vU8nrYsWWI
Joker in a nurse outfit; Katy Perry gets axed; the Jonas Brothers get called out, (haven't I been saying that their act is a rip-off of Hansons? I know I've said that somewhere.); and what we all want, Hannah Montana dies. Then my camera gives up the fight right before the Joker's big ending. I was so mad. But again, next week.

Honestly, I really did want them to hang Joker, just to hear the fangirls scream. But then, I realized that would have been redundant. (Ha ha, Heath Ledger's STILL dead.)

mood: high

SO LIKE. I went to Knott's with Shani. The Hanging, which is just a lampoon of the year's pop culture, is a great stunt show, and if you don't watch it, when you go to Knott's, you're a total loser and I hate you.

ANYWAYS. They did a lot of things I expected. They brought in Indiana Jones and the Joker. (Who both survived, by the way. {unlike Heath Ledger, *cough*})

HOWEVER. John McCain comes out, (and I was going to vote McCain anyways, but this just seals the deal.) When McCain comes out, they play Alice Cooper's "Elected." I about had a Big O right there, it was so awesome.

Also, I recorded a bunch of the Hanging on my little digital camera. Unfortunately, I ran out of room on my memory card, so I only have a few good clips to give you. Next week, I'll be prepared, and have the rest of the show. :3

Actually, it's really fucking late, so just one for now.

Joker and Batman Fight: http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e380/forgetmedo/?action=view¤t=MOV04026.flv
I didn't get who the guy with the gas vacuum thing was supposed to be, though.

mood: high

http://www.myspace.com/alongcameavideo

fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff *dies*

Alice is all: "WHO'S GONNA CENSOR ME ON THE INTARWEBS?? HA HA HA!" *saws legs off*

God. GOD. I wanna write Alice torture now.

Also, in that tiny documentary down there, that earthquake Alice talks about? I WAS 15 MINUTES FROM THE EPICENTER. I didn't feel it either, I was too busy, ironically enough, rocking out to "Sweet Child o'Mine" on a bridge. I was all, shit, I was so close to the guy and didn't even know. D< FUCK. At least they were able to work it into the video. (fuuuuuuuuck.)

ALSO ALSO ALSO. Okay. My coworker Debbie wants to go with me to Alice's tour next year. Debbie is a grandmother of four, and a huge Alice Cooper fan. This will fucking ROCK. Shani, you don't get a choice, you're coming too. >D

Fuck, I am SO excited right now.

So I'm going to bring it down a couple notches and tell you something that's not so cool. I heard a cover of "Love Rollercoaster" today. Like the song wasn't bad enough on it's own, some kids took it and made it into some alternative rock/hip hop/Jonas Brothers type of thing. When I heard it, I seriously thought I was picking up Radio Disney. Fucking terrible.

ALSO. The other day, I brought you "Survive the Outbreak." Now I want you to try your hand at surviving Micheal Myers wannabes: [link]

ALSO AGAIN. If I made horror movies, I'd want them to look like this: [link]

....okay, I'm gonna go write Alice torture now. *squeals*

mood: high

As seen on STUK...

Alice Cooper, appearing on CBS-TV's "Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson" last night (Monday, September 29), was the victim, yet again, of corporate meddling in his rock 'n' roll. It's called censorship and Cooper, currently promoting his "Along Came A Spider" (SPV) album, has met this particular beast numerous times during his 40-year career.

The album tells the story of a serial killer and as part of the song, Alice was going to re-enact a piece of his video by picking a female victim from the audience to choke with a silk scarf during the band's live performance of "Vengeance is Mine". (Both the album version of the song and the video feature ex-GUNS N' ROSES guitarist Slash.) What viewers saw was a truncated version of what actually happened. Unfortunately, the "murder" of one of his victims was just too much for CBS-TV's censors (although Ferguson loved it) and, as such, his request was denied.

In 1975, Alice Cooper starred in an ABC special, "Welcome To My Nightmare", also featuring Vincent Price, which caused the ABC censors to cut out all the violence that had been included in the originally delivered film.

The uncensored version of the new thre-song video including "Vengeance is Mine" can be seen on MySpace.com/AlongCameAVideo as well as YouTube.com/SPV and Imeem.com/AliceCooper starting Wednesday, October 1.

God bless that man, 60 years old and he's STILL pissing off the censors.

I'm so turned on right now, I'm going to go masturbate on Tipper Gore's face.

mood: high

My sister bought a black wig for her Halloween costume this year, and she threw it over the shelf, so it's kind of hanging down.

I woke up this morning, saw it hanging there, kind of moving with the breeze, (I have a fan,) and of course, I think of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmKdXTbwmTU

I now have the sudden urge to bury it.

mood: hyper

And now that I've chased away everyone.

I HAD A GREAT FUCKING WEEKEND. Friday we went up to Hollywood, to chase around some twat Joker double who despite assuring us that he would be out there in costume, did not show up. But that's okay, because we hung out with a Superman who works with Jimmy Kimmel. [link] Also, we saw Shia Le Beauf doing a taping for Jimmy Kimmel, at the same time some Latin movie premiere was happening at Grahman's Chinese Theater.

Shani took me over to see Alice's star, which I then molested. Turns out, it's right in front of the Roosevelt Hotel, which is kind of appropriate when you know the history of the place.

Also, someone died a few feet away from us, but Shani assures me, this is normal for Hollywood.

ALSO ALSO. That huge train wreck over the weekend? We think we might have seen that Metrolink train pass us by about a half-hour before the crash. We didn't think anything of this train barreling by at the time, but as soon as we got home and watched the news we were kind of like... damn. We should have taken a picture of it, that picture would have been fucking VALUABLE if we had thought of it at the time.

Saturday was relatively uneventful. But my art teacher apparently likes my Joker drawing.

Then Sunday, I went to a birthday party at the Grand Californian. Shit has the WEIRDEST damn electric doors I've ever seen. I'd have taken a picture, but I was too stunned to do much but stare.

So after hanging out at the million-dollar birthday party, the hosts bought everyone Disneyland passes. So me and my mother, my sister, and two uncles met up with Shani at Disneyland and basically did everything. Sort of. Most of the park was blocked off for this, that, and the other thing project. But, we hit the important things. We rode Indiana Jones and attempted to grab his leg. (You actually used to be able to do this, but Disneyland caught on to our shenanigans, and moved him further away from the cars.) Christina drove the car, so we can unequivocally and justly blame her for nearly dying during that ride.

Also, I was majorly impressed with the Jack Sparrow mannequin in the pirate ride. I hated him in the movie. A lot. But the mannequin is so awesome, I'm going to pretend the last two movies never happened, and Jack is cool again.

I was NOT impressed with the Davy Jones fog, for many reasons. For one, he remains the lamest villain in the history of all Disney movies. Possibly the worst in any movie, anywhere. Two... he had nothing to do with the ride. Jack managed to fit in. Barbossa fit in. Davy Jones had no place in the ride's plot. Adding him in made no sense whatsoever.

I'm also unimpressed with the fact that they removed the struggling skeletons from the last leg of the ride. Now when you look into that area, all you see is a giant black hollow. What the fuck.

On the other hand, I got hit with a pretty good wave in that ride. I had my camera up, and the wave completely missed my camera, and drenched my shirt. Smart wave.

I was also impressed with how they changed the fireworks show. Tinkerbell does some GREAT theatrics now, as opposed to merely zipping across the line. Also, I liked the way the fireworks were staged to represent different aspects of the park. I LOVED the idea of the Stretching Room fireworks, and the fireworks that were meant to be the ghostly inhabitants of the place. When the Star Tours building lit up, I want all you people to know that Shani and I ducked. D: Seriously, the last time I was there, the fireworks were all coming from behind the Toontown area. This time, the fireworks were coming from ALL OVER THE PARK. I was standing right next to the Star Tours building when suddenly, *KABOOM* and bright lights. I didn't know what was happening, but my first reaction to something like that is to take cover.

...I've been living in Fontana way too long.

mood: excited

So. A random question to muse over at the bar when you're pounding away the tequila and need something to argue over with your similarly drunk friends.

You have the power to resurrect a dead musician. Just one.

Who would you bring back?

I've been thinking about his lately, and I've decided, Glen Buxton. Because I want to see the original Alice Cooper Group in action, goddamn it. I was born about 40 years too late, it's not fair, man. Last time they toured together, my dad was 11.

I was born in the wrong era. D<

My second choice would be John Lennon, because I want to see where the rest of his life would have went. I thought he was a pretty interesting character. (And talented and whatever.)

mood: amused

I've decided, much to Shani's chagrin, that the Joker, had he not become a criminal mastermind, he would have been the perfect stoner.

For some odd reason, I got the image of him laying back on the sofa, lighting one up, with a box of pizza on the coffee table, listening to the Bob Dylan version of "All Along the Watchtower" (and if you haven't heard the Bob Dylan version of "All Along the Watchtower," you're missing half the joke,) and just:

"*puff* S'all good, man. *puff puff* Dylan's deep, dude."

This thought just cracked me up, and I should go shoot myself for it.

I blame James Kochalka.

mood: crazy

"The journalist who wrote that's just jealous because he's stuck in his cubicle pounding letter keys about people who CAN write, and sing, and perform, and golf, and act.....Peck on, wannabe, maybe somebody will read your name at the bottom of that article. That's ALMOST like an over 4 decade span of fame, isn't it?"

You don't mess with Alice, not so long as he has the world's most over-protective fanbase. (I'm sorry, I just found this quote to be hilarious.)

So I'm like, hopped up on drugs and bullshit, trying to come up with an ending for this shit I'm tentatively calling a fanfic. (And a title. I have nothing beyond "crackfic.")

You know something? This is hard to do when you're high.

I don't predict this taking too much longer, my heart's not particularly into it this time around. I'm drawing a horrible block. On everything I do. If this thing pops out semi-coherent and resembling something written by someone over the age of 10 I'll be surprised.

Also, I want to know where all the Dark Knight merchandise has gone and why the fuck can't I find any of it. D< And why is Amazon trying to charge me double the prices of the stuff I DID find in stores? Makes me mad.

Also, I have the natural ability to piss people off without even trying: [link]

What was I saying about that fanbase? (Why am I not dead, yet?)

mood: high

So like.

I'm still soaring on meds, it's ridiculous. My dreams have been very, very vivid lately.

Last night. I dreamed that... I was a journalist attending one of Bruce Wayne's parties. I was going to write up the event, and the Joker crashes the party. In the middle of the subsequent violence and murder, Joker notices me cowering in the corner, somehow knows that I'm with the press, and asks me to put favorable spin on his actions for the story. I agreed, and he seemed satisfied enough not to kill me.

Okay, just a thought, but a thought that made me very, very, happy this evening.

So like, remember that scene where the Joker's hanging upside down at the end? Now remember that crappy, sugary sweet scene in Spider-man where he makes out with Mary Jane upside down?

You should know where I'm going with this.

And I've started sketching it. DON'T TRY AND STOP ME, IT'S ALREADY BEGUN.

I need a scanner, so I can torture you people more efficiently. But I took a crappy, photo of the unfinished lineart, I can put it up on photobucket.

...yeah.

mood: drained

Guess what?

I'M NOT IN THE HOSPITAL.

I went in today, and my vitals were improved immensely. Most of the bacteria that caused the infection has apparently been flushed. I don't have to go back until later this week, just to make sure it's all gone.

I'm on a TON of medication though. I'm just... higher then a kite. (I'm pretty sure it's been funny to watch me stumble about and say stupid shit, though.) The only one I'm familiar with is the vicodin. (...shut up.) On top of that, I'm on something for the bacteria, something else for the nausea, something else for pain, (because vicodin was just not enough) and something else to combat my extremely low iron count.

But, other then that, I'm feeling pretty good. I'm very happy.

mood: indescribable

So. For the few people that actually care. I may not be around for a while. Not by choice.

A few of you knew that I've been kinda sick lately, and fighting with my health care provider to figure out what it is. I was first told it was just a fever, and it ought to be better by Saturday. Well, it wasn't, so I went back, did a few more tests, and turns out I have a kidney infection. So I've had all kinds of injections, I'm on so much crap I can't hardly think straight, and on top of all this, my vitals still haven't improved. So I'm going back tomorrow, and I guess we'll see whether or not they're going to hospitalize me.

So um... if, and I do mean IF, I'm not around for a while, that's all it is, and I don't want people worrying about me, it's not like this is life-threatening, and I'm being treated for it. I just want the four people on here that I care about to be informed.

Well, that about covers it, I'll see you around.

mood: indescribable

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080730/ap_on_re_us/california_earthquake

O_o

I was 15 minutes away from the epicenter of this quake. Didn't feel a damn thing. People in Vegas felt it, but I didn't feel it all.

...of course, I was in my car passing over a bridge during this thing. The announcement came over the radio as I was getting off the bridge. Scary thought, there. I didn't think about it again until I found this article just now.

This comment just floors me:

"People have forgotten, I think, what earthquakes feel like," said Kate Hutton, a seismologist at Caltech. "So I think we should probably look at it as an earthquake drill. ... It's a drill for the `Big One' that will be coming some day."

...I facepalm'd so hard I'll have this bruise on my forehead for months.

Besides, this thing was nothing. I remember Northridge. That was bad. This we can handle.

Besides, no drill is gonna help you when a really good earthquake hits. A lot of the things I was taught to do in schools has been known to backfire immensely. So if a really good earthquake comes along, the only proven method is to kiss your own ass goodbye.

Okay. Finished being irritated. >

Okay.

You people win.

I surrender.

Dark Knight was... an... AWESOME movie. I'm like, having spasms. I'm going to have to go for a run to get the adrenaline out of my system. Remember how excited I was with Transformers? Anyone?

Times 10. Oh yeah.

And Heath Ledger did a great job with the Joker, that's EXACTLY how I always imagined him to be. Even in the comics, you could see elements of the sadist in him, but they always went out of their way to make him... well... harmless. This movie made him perfect. I completely understand Alice's Joker boner, now. Holy shit.

About the only thing I take issue with, is Joker explaining his reasoning for doing what he was doing. He never had a reason. Even Batman says that his reasoning "makes sense to him alone." Other then that, no complaints.

Of course, since I decided to see this movie, I'm gonna have to wait until Sunday to buy Alice's album, but it was worth it. So damn worth it. This is something you just HAVE to see in theaters. (They have it in IMAX, I'm GOING. Ha ha, I live fifteen minutes from one. And it's appropriate, because I saw Batman Begins in IMAX so there. Nyah.)

Also, if you haven't heard it yet, go here, skip on down to 3:54, and listen to "Catch Me If You Can." It's very appropriate, I think.

Okay, running about wildly now, be back later. :3

mood: enthralled